PART 11 — THEIR HEALING ISN’T MY JOB

This one gave me freedom.

For years, I thought if I could just explain something correctly, somebody else might finally understand.

Maybe they’d see what they did.

Maybe they’d apologize.

Maybe they’d change.

Maybe the relationship would finally become what I needed it to be.

Healing taught me:

I cannot cross somebody else’s Bridge for them.

I can tell someone how their behavior affected me.

I can communicate.

I can ask.

I can set boundaries.

I can decide what I will and won’t participate in.

But I cannot make another adult become self-aware.

I cannot force accountability.

I cannot make someone heal.

And I don’t need to keep reopening my wounds trying.

That doesn’t mean I suddenly believe everyone who hurt me secretly meant well.

I don’t know what was happening inside them.

And I don’t need to know.

Understanding my own Inside-Out/Outside-In discrepancy gave me enough humility to realize that I may never know another person’s complete Inside-Out.

Their behavior can still give me enough information to decide whether I want it in my life.

Empathy does not require access.

Forgiveness, for me, did not require reconciliation.

And boundaries don’t require hatred.

I can wish someone healing from a distance.

Their healing belongs to them.

Mine belongs to me.

Shared from live experience, not expert advice