One of the simplest things I’ve learned may be one of the most powerful:
What actually happened?
And:
What did my mind add?
Those are not always the same thing.
Someone gets quiet.
Fact: They’re quiet.
My mind might add:
They’re angry.
They’re leaving.
I did something wrong.
A coworker doesn’t complete something.
Fact: The task isn’t completed.
My mind might add:
She’s doing this intentionally.
She’s talking about me.
She’s trying to make me look bad.
My daughter calls while I’m getting ready to eat.
Fact: My daughter is calling.
My mind can add:
She’s probably calling to complain about yesterday again.
That additional information feels real because I’m the one thinking it.
But thinking something doesn’t turn it into information I possess.
This doesn’t mean my intuition is always wrong.
It doesn’t mean I should ignore patterns or red flags.
It means I can ask:
What do I know?
What do I suspect?
What information am I still missing?
Then I can respond to what is actually happening instead of automatically responding to a story that hasn’t happened yet.
Shared from lived experience, not expert advice
Leave a comment