For years, I could see unhealthy behavior in other people much more easily than I could see some of the same behaviors in myself.
That’s uncomfortable to admit.
But it makes sense to me now.
When I looked at someone else, I saw their behavior.
When I looked at myself, I also knew my reasons.
That changes the view.
I could see someone else’s yelling and think:
That’s unhealthy.
When I yelled, I knew everything that happened before it.
I could see someone else refusing to let something go.
When I kept explaining, I knew I was trying to be understood.
I could recognize controlling behavior in another person.
When I tried to control an outcome, I knew I was terrified of what might happen if I didn’t.
My intentions made my behavior look different to me.
Other people didn’t have access to all of that.
They had my behavior.
That is the Outside-In.
And eventually healing allowed me to do something I hadn’t been able to do very well before:
I began seeing myself from there too.
Not through somebody else’s insults.
Not by automatically believing every criticism.
But by asking:
If I didn’t know everything happening inside me, what would I see?
That question changed me.
Shared from lived experience, not professional advice
Leave a comment